Barely skinny bone tree

I'm reading this book right now that makes my heart go, BOOM! quite alot, I don't know why or what, but everytime I read it my heart does that weird boom thing, and as I read the book I increasingly begin to love it more and more. I suppose since I'min my intense moment of Y11 where the whole year is on the brink of serious revision sessions and getting into the nitty gritty of it all. I suppose I start to really enjoy the book when something goes on in my life. I suppose even though I treat my blog like a diary I don't tell you guys loads and loads about how everything links together, usually its opnions and odds and ends of bits and pieces that I have noticed or happened to me in the past couple of days. So I'm really enjoying my book I think the reason I love it so much is because it's something different.Not like those crappy dark romances I use to read, but a really good honest book which you know some people may not understand, or feel it's not an easy going read. For me it doesn't have a plot line it's just event after event after event, but in a way it sums up the whole story. I haven't finished reading it yet so I'm excited but sad to read the ending.
Not only is the book different but things this week have been very different for me in some ways but not in others. For example it's not been different because at lunchtimes I didn't socialize with my friends. I went to do some work by myself. However in this event of doing a routine like event I stumbled across something which made the whole  experience different, I spoke to someone whom I have always wanted to talk to, I had spoken to her once before when she came in the shop to buy a coat, however yesterday we had a proper talk. And it made me really happy. Now I know this has nothing to do with anything but later that day I came home and the book was there waiting for me on the stairs. So I enjoyed reading it alot more because my day had something different to it. I spoke to someone different and I began to read a new book, which is a different book to previous I have read before, and it has made me happy, as my life has been very repetitive recently. 
So right now I am happy/content in the idea of different. Other than that right now my life is reaching an impossible goal. It's almost like I am 5cm tall and I've been told that I have to open the door, obviously it's a very daunting and difficult task, however with every step I feel a sense of achievement. So I'm going to stop writing now and get some homework done, have a shower then read my book.

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New Weekends

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I don't usually like to promote things too much, however New Weekends is trying to boost up their amount of likes on facebook/ ASOS market place.  In hope to get 200 followers by the end of two weeks, they are hosting a pretty rad giveaway with a selection of prizes from jumpers to books.  Since I love their clothes they sell on ASOS here I am leaping at the chance to win one of their cool giveaway prizes!

Why should you follow New Weekends?  Well if you're a lover of vintage clothes at affordable prices like I am, you can't really go wrong.  Breton tops, waistocats, jackets, shoes, scarves you name it! It's a small comapny but a brilliant one!

Not only is their boutique filled with treasures from all era's but their facebook here is pretty unique in itself. It's not just a place for updates, but a beacon of inspiration from fashion to iconic figures.  They keep their posts simple and sweet.  Basically they're pretty fucking lush and they deserve to be heard out more often! So like their ASOS or Facebook page and get promoting, join in on the giveaway aswell and try and win one of their prizes! Get clickin' people, and comment below sayin' what you think of their boutique and facebook page, New Weekends awaits you!

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The shoes are on the table

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Another end of the week, time is flying by for me recently, and it's frightening me that sooner or later my compulsery education will be over. And I will have the choice to either take on a job or persue another 2-5 years in education.  It's a strange thought to think that this is all preparing me for adulthood. It makes me go into a daze sometimes.

So in recent tales I went to my schools open evening and it was very 'inspiring', and I will be applying there very much so.  It seems like the decisions I am making in courses are very hefty ones. However I think I may be able to cope with the pressure of it all.... Maybe. I'm just going to leave you with this song now.

(I also hope someone knows what the title is about)

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Hawaiin tat

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As a very un-enthusiastic fan of Topshop I do think that I sometimes find things in there that are reasonable.  I recently got a voucher or a giftcard for Topshop so I thought I know I'll have a look on the website I bet they have loads of cool things! Turns out the whole website (well pretty much) Is either tacky, hideous or too expensive for a piece of half stitched viscose. I honestly am wondering how are they getting away with their prices and the Primark like quality of their clothing. Sorry to sound like pessamist but I seriously am wondering why Topshop has turned into a shithole? I mean fair enough if they have some jeans to sell them for £30, or even sell a sequin covered dress for £45. But selling a pair of shorts lets say for £65-70 is plain ridiculous...  I just don't understand it.  I know I may get a comment saying that I'm being very rude, however this is my blog and my opinion. I don't want to support the high prices they ask for various items on their website or their shop. However a skirt for £20, or some raad lookin' hawaiin print high waisted skinny trousers for £38 yeah sure. These were pretty much the only things I liked on the whole website. And I am actually looking forward to trying them on, even though I'm dreading how they might look on my legs. The point of this sour post is that I'm just not understanding how they can churn out cheap tat like this, and expect a block of gold in return...

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Adrians

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So I bought some Adrian Doc Martens.... They're a little bit beautiful and amazing.... Best loafers in the world. And uhh only £40! So yeah better than £80! Ebay, you are a wonder for desire....

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Day of the dead

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Even though I am not Mexican, and do not celebrate 'Day of the Dead' I just thought the title suited the images! Today I took a trip down with school to the Tate Britain and the Tate Modern to find inspiration for our new course that we are doing. I absolutely love going to the Tate because their shops sell absolutely stunning books! I was planning on buying a magazine but I felt that getting a book may be a better decision, along with various postcards and a really lovely poster. 

So the book I bought was called 'The Book of Skulls' and at first I thought it might be a little bit dark and unusual, but it is so beautiful and was such a great buy all it is, is a collection of skulls that had been displayed as sculptures, for example Damien Hirst £50 million skull, or be a tattoo, even an illustration!  Basically just how skulls have bcome an iconic symbol over the years. The front cover (above) also has inspired me to start to use multiple elements within my illustrations. Just going to the art galleries has inspired me! So I'm going to spend the rest of my evening drawing and thinking of new ways to make my new sketchbook look raad. 

The only other reason I mention 'Day of the Dead' is the cover reminds me of the skeleton dolls you can buy and how the makeup looks when people dress up!

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Feeling inspired

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Inspiration can be a hard thing to find sometimes,sometimes it can be really easy to find, however not all of us find it in similar ways. And depending on the situation, we would all find it through the different aspects of life.  Life can be the most inspiring thing to someone. Just the idea of  living will open someone's eyes and make them contemplate even futher.  However for others, life is nothing more than what it is... Not everyone loves to live, and certainly not everyone finds it inspiring to contemplate life.  Many of us always walk past the beautiful things in life, and only ever notice the ugly. Others do the opposite. As humans, we need to find the right balance where we can appreciate both in the world, and stop fussing over one section of it.  This way we can feel inspired no matter what the odds...

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Miller

Article featured in the New York Movies

written by Jada Yuan

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A tall, pale, floppy-haired youth loiters below the High Line on West 20th Street, rolling a cigarette, laconically considering the hopes and dreams of others. As he’s proven twice in the past year, in Another Happy Day and We Need to Talk About Kevin, Ezra Miller is a very convincing tortured adolescent. He has the coloring and bone structure of a vampire. At 19, he’s got both acne and gray hairs. When and if he can grow a mustache, he wants to play Edgar Allan Poe.


And yet, as I approach, he breaks character and smiles broadly, gives me a hug, and leads me to the “hope tree” he’s been perusing. It’s really a pole dressed up as a public-art project, with a mess of bright-orange and yellow tags tied to it, each scrawled with the yearnings of passersby. Miller reads aloud the one that delights him most: “I want a gorgeous, humorous, sexy, warmhearted man who is tall, wants children, is creative and affectionate. Also important is that he needs to have a U.S. American passport and wants to marry me within the next week.” Miller can’t remember the exact tag he wrote the last time he visited a hope tree, but “it was something about your body being a part of history. I wanted us all to act accordingly with that general premise,” he says. What does he mean by “body”? He explains: “Initially the physical body, but also all the other ones, like the emotional body.”


I’m still not sure what he means, but Miller has a habit of spewing half-baked musings that sound possibly profound. He picked the High Line as our meeting place not only because he wanted to smoke but also because, he says, “I’m interested in why I’m interested in the High Line, and furthermore why it’s compelling to people. It’s, I don’t know, a clarified vision for our drastic times—the apocalyptic nature of these weeds overgrowing train tracks.” Never mind that those weeds were planted by a landscaper. We wander around until we find the little amphitheater that steps down to frame a view of Tenth Avenue (“Here it is!” he says. “Here’s life as a play!”) and drink chai tea from a vintage, burnt-orange plastic thermos he’s brought along.


In films, Miller often has been cast as the quick-witted fuckup son. He played Andy Garcia and Julianna Margulies’s kid with a fat fetish in City Island, and Ellen Barkin’s arrogant nihilistic druggie kid in Another Happy Day. He got that role after showing up late to meet with director Sam Levinson and then demanding that they sit outside so he could smoke. (“I thought, ‘What a fucking prick! He’s perfect for this film!’ ” said Levinson at the time.) In his latest, ­Kevin, with Tilda Swinton, Miller takes his troubled-teen type a few steps ­further, committing a ­Columbine-like mass murder.


In his off time, he’s a neo-hippie. Activities include visiting Occupy Wall Street, Burning Man, and drumming, often shirtless, in a rootsy rock band, Sons of an Illustrious Father. The name comes from Plato’s Republic and, Miller says, refers to “the inherent torment of being privileged or coming from an illustrious father in a time of gross economic disparity.”


His father is Robert S. Miller, who is group publisher of Workman Publishing. Miller grew up in New Jersey with two older sisters; his mother, Marta, is a ­dancer. They keep a place in Chelsea, where Miller lives, “as much as I live any place.”


At 8, Miller performed in White Raven, a Philip Glass collaboration with Robert Wilson about Portuguese explorer Vasco da Gama, at Lincoln Center. As part of it, he was hoisted “300 feet in the air!” ­(actually more like 40 feet, to the ceiling of the New York State Theater). There, he says, “I conducted the orchestra. With one grand, sweeping gesture, I brought up the sun. It was the most profound ego boost that an 8-year-old could possibly receive.” He then joined the Metropolitan Opera Children’s Chorus before being washed up when puberty kicked in. So he turned to acting.


His first film role, at 14, was the lead in Afterschool as a boarding-school outcast who numbly videos twin sisters dying of a drug overdose and masturbates to ­Internet porn of girls getting strangled. Director Antonio Campos says, “I could just tell he was special. He was a lot smarter” than other teen actors (they bonded over their love of A Clockwork ­Orange), and “more sensitive. He wasn’t afraid to make a fool of himself.”


He also wasn’t a virgin; Campos had difficulty getting Miller to act awkwardly in the sex scene. He already smoked, too. “I would smoke anything back then, man!” says Miller. “Dried bananas, you know, orange peels. Anything that burns, essentially. Tea used to be not for drinking.”

Though a good student, Miller dropped out of Hoboken’s Hudson School his junior year, prompted by a dream in which a despondent Ludwig van Beethoven visited him in the subway. “He was crying, and he said, ‘The four symphonies I’ve written are no good. They’re just, like, not enough.’ And I was like, ‘You write five more! Keep going!’ And I woke up in a cold sweat and I was like, ‘I need to drop out of school.’ ” His interpretation? “I think it’s about how it’s the responsibility of every artist to make sacrifices and seemingly irrational decisions in order to carve out their little pebble of work to put on the big, like, art kingdom that everyone’s been building for so long.”

A despondent Beethoven came to Miller in a dream when he was 16, and he decided to quit school.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, given those dreams and circuitous musings, Miller was arrested in June for pot possession while shooting The Perks of Being a Wallflower, an adaptation of the popular teen novel in which he plays Emma Watson’s gay brother. Though “pot was strewn about, covering me like a quilt,” says ­Miller, he got off, thanks to a “kindly magistrate” who gave him two counts of disorderly conduct and “a lengthy lecture regarding my influence on the young extras of our film, one of whom he later revealed was his daughter.”


Miller remains unapologetic. “I don’t feel like there’s any need to hide the fact that I smoke pot. It’s a harmless herbal substance that increases sensory appreciation.”


He can’t have been easy to raise, but Miller’s parents have been remarkably supportive, which is why he refrained from speaking to his mother for Kevin’s entire shoot. “In the moments where my mind could escape Kevin’s, I had this growing, gathering appreciation for every­thing that my mother did right,” he says. “But to bring back to the forefront of my brain this loving, empathetic relationship with my mother would have been extremely detrimental to either me or the film, so it was really essential that she, uh, keep fair distance.” She sat beside him during Kevin’s debut at Cannes, to see a killer with her boy’s face. “I’ve never heard her cry like that,” he says. “Like, audibly sobbing and shaking.”


Our wanderings take us through stoop sitting, or, as Miller calls it, “the most harmless of petty loiterings,” and the Nan Goldin exhibit at the Matthew Marks Gallery, before ending where we started, back at the hope tree. Miller has a new one: “I hope that I might always play my part so that I will always know my hopes.” He tries to explain that, but never really does, and in a way, it might be disappointing if he did.

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Definition

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Yesterday I was thinking about 6th form art course for when I tke it next year. One idea I had formulated was the idea of the beauty of definition in someone' face. Cheek bones, Jaw lines, Bottom lip shadow. All of it and how you can really make someone look incredible by just shining a light on their face. So for a project for my art next year I am going to study definition. To try and understand the human face better. This may make it easier for me to draw people and shadowing.  I wanted to test out if it would work. And I realised it really did look so interesting when i tried it.

 It made me look so fearless and had an air of coolness around it. It was spooky but I love the simplicity of the actual photo against the effect it had on me and how different it made me look. Definately doing this for my art.

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Shambleton's

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These are only six of what actually went down that night. Some of them are so very horrific!  I don't think I should show you because of the idea that I'm just a little bit normal on this blog. Trust me... These photos are not! They may frighten you to the very core. But it was a fun night and I laughed when I saw them, alot! I also just got some new glasses. I'll show you all some other time. Hey I don't ask much anymore. But if you guys (whoever does read this) don't mind, I would be greatful to any name droppin' in your posts about Pandora here. I just want at least 50 followers. I'm not bothered about triple fingers, I just feel a bit in a rutt right now...

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Upper lid

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I love make up! I love wearing it and I love finding new ways of wearing it. The hardest thing I have ever had to do. And the one thing I still haven't perfected is the art of false eyelashes! Even though wearing them on frequen occasions I still find they peel off during half the day... I mean why? It does just blow my mind in a way. But I'm pretty sure with practice comes perfection. Anyway, I remember when I had a huge love for Twiggy. She was a beautiful icon of the 60's her androgynous figure and fashion was put to good use. I wish I was as boyish as she was in her youth! Especially since I love the whole skin tight trousers and high neck tops. All I need is a pair of long deer like limbs and some slimmer features here and there and I'll have my ideal figure...But that's never going to happen unfortunately. But I can atleast try out some of the make up with the alterations of not drawing eyelashes on my lower lids. I don't want to look like a tit at work. But I'm one for the whole upper lid action!

And sadly tomorrow is my last day at Olive for the winter employment. I had a boomin' time over there and I will miss it thoroughly, being a customer there will be so strange. But I can't stay there forever sadly. However I have made some good friends and despite being the youngest out of them all they've all been real charming to me and it's been lovely.  I enjoyed the lunchbreaks aswell...

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A New Form of Innocence

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If you do read my blog, most of you will know that I have an infatuation with Audrey Hepburn, I mean most women find her utterly beautiful, who wouldn't!  Reading her Biography and learning all about her time with Paramount it has become clear that she changed the face of Hollywood by becoming something innocent and fun! Sexiness and selling herself with films was not an option. She was a purely talented woman and had fun with her roles on the big screen. She was a natural all through life. Even a single photo said so much about her. I have never felt so warmly towards and actress before.  That was until I saw this photo of Natilie Portman. Before the psychological tale of

Black Swan I had never heard of dear Miss. Portman. I didn't have much love for her acting at first but then she grew on me. This photo, her sheer beauty and purity just melted away any harsh feelings I had towards her. within this shot she has really captured the "Audrey" essence. A new form of innocence. Her glare. Her eyebrows. Her expression. They're all in the style of  dear Audrey, so en-dearing. Maybe one day she will bring something new to Hollywood. I'm un-certain. But for now, she's alright to me.

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Marrissa flashback

A sneeky little look at my Natural forms art sculpture.  I thought since I have the film I should change the variation in my sketch book and take some polaroid photos of the different elements. I also made a video, but I don't know whether to post it on or not 'cause I haven't even shown my teacher. I'm really proud of it though, 'cause it was my first time on the video editing software. It looks good though. And I chose the right song I think! It was a song from the film HANNA, it's called Marrissa flashback by The Chemical Brothers. It really worked with the whole thing. Not too melancholy, but still had good beats and everything! I even made it look all crackly and the shodowing in some parts looks really interesting. I'll shown you a still from the video! I just have to now!

Check it!

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Post New Year's eve...

So, my friends and I went a bit loco.  Putting fingertaches as REAL taches and wearing antlers, and pretending we had machine guns with quality street amo, and the thing is we didn't even drink that much, in fact we were basically sober... Do you guys do these things in the comfort of your own home aswell? Or would you classify this as 'abnormal behavior'.  It was fun though, and I have more photos of this eventful night along the way, boy was it fun. And it was nice because I spent it with some good friends. Yeah we had fun. And the fireworks were so beautiful. What were your wishes at midnight? I can't tell you mine though, it might not come true...

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